Poor Imp

Thanks for the thoughts, both of you. Crysi -- Thanks especially for the specifics. ...I was rather worried when I read it over that Lis might have come out...off-balanced in ...

It seems somewhat rushed as far as events and plot go... But I can't tell! The format makes it nigh on impossible to read. Try to paragraph it and separate ...

Sorry you guys feel this way and I'll make the suggested changes, but I really didn't think it was that offensive. :( It wasn't offensive for any intent on your ...

Heh, thanks TBR. ^_^ It was rather fun to write as well. (Go ahead and switch sides. It's all relative, isn't it?) I'm glad you liked it.

Very vividly felt, dele. It's an intense weaving of scene and character - though short and quick. Congratulations - you did win the challenge, yes? ^_^ IMP

@_@'' That was definitely - well, it was amusing 'randomness'. I don't know about a moral - unless that's more random... Oy. Not really critique-able, eh? It did make me ...

"Yeah right," Sgt. Salt said. She took our her pen. Typo - out , right? So amusing. :D Snionk (chortle chortle) pigmask. It makes me giggle. Too bad I am ...

It's a good read, CL - and a lot smoother, I think, now. :D “Do not drown, son, the world awaits (for) their new champion.” I'm curious though, just about ...

yes, it does. (it's intentional) Ah, I wasn't sure. It always nettles me when people pick at my 'passive voice'. It worked there - I merely was uncertain as to ...

Hey, thanks Blob. :D Now you've got to post something so I can return the favor. And CL - thanks so much. (...and your theories are?... 8) You've made me ...

I will agree with the point of it certainly being a fragment; :wink: not a complete story by any stretch - if a complete snapshot. But hollow is really what ...

Definitely a snapshot. So, in that sense, it's more an introduction... But it's obscure, it's not flat plotless - simply plotted. The entire point is that you don't know why ...

WHy would she say she was alright then shake her head and complain? I think this bit needs rewording. No, it was very intentional. Thanks for the reply though. :D ...

...I'm still involved - I like it. But it seemed...maybe a little rushed? It might just be the format. Double-space between paragraphs would help. Oh well. All I have to ...